Coming out as an Atheist… Think Carefully!
You may think that your family and friends will understand. They’re not like the crazy religious types. They’re not the Westboro Baptist Church. If that’s what you think, make damn sure you’re right. Because in the very likely event that they aren’t, telling them that you don’t believe in their god or gods will end your old relationship with them. Be prepared for uncivil, emotional, irrational arguments that go nowhere and last for years. Be prepared to be disowned in all but a legal way. And be prepared for the barrage of bitterness to be punctuated by their own cries for being persecuted.
Those atheists that disguise themselves live the happiest, I think. Be careful before making the irreversible decision to expose yourself.
December 30, 2012 at 16:22
Funny, I was just mentioning this very thing to a group of girlfriends lately on a bb: that I haven’t come out, not so much for fear of my immediate family, but fear of what many friends and some extended family will think. It’s sad. It’s even sadder that many many friends agreed with me (in their undisclosed atheism and fear of the ensuing onslaught of negativity that would follow).
But you have to be taught to hate. The indoctrination of it that I see, to the point of proselytizing in elementary school, and badgering those who aren’t believers among children, is uncalled for. Anyone that makes a 6 year old CRY on the playground because they tell everyone else they shouldn’t play with her just because she doesn’t believe in god is a bully, no matter their beliefs. And just like the adults that do the same, hiding behind your beliefs is no excuse for being an inconsiderate asshole to others. Jerks can and do come in all shapes, sizes, and religions.
Absence of a religion, while not a religion, is still protected.
And by my saying this here, I probably just came out to many of the people I was keeping this from.
I guess it’s this or go ahead and release my multi-part blog coming out as such and withstand that onslaught. And now I’m just rambling. *awaits her own bashing*
December 30, 2012 at 20:12
I have to admit that I underestimated how poorly some people would react. Normally reasonable people can get surprisingly unreasonable when arguing about religion. To borrow a line from Shakespeare, I took thee for thy better.
January 11, 2013 at 07:12
I’m truly not wanting to start anything (else), but if those of us who are Christians really believe what we say, and really try to live what we believe, then it seems natural that we would be compelled to try to reach those people we care about most.
I know that I, in such efforts and while trying to articulate positions that can be difficult to express (especially while feeling belittled, blown off, or attacked), can react emotionally and be unjustly raw. It’s not an excuse to behave badly (there is none), just an explanation of how it comes about.
I totally agree that a bully is a bully, no matter what motivates them.
January 11, 2013 at 10:59
I understand that convinced Christians will want to argue. The way arguments work, though, is that one side makes its point, then allows the other side to respond. After that, the first party has to respond to the response. Most Christians don’t understand this and think that arguments are just them telling me why I’m wrong then putting their fingers in their ears and singing “Onward Christian Soldiers” at the top of their lungs.